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When to start Cussing

 

 

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their

bedroom. 'You know what?' says  the 6 year old.  'I think

it's about time we started cussing. The 4 year old nods his head in approval.

The 6 year old  continues, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast,

I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with ass.'

The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

When the mother walks into the kitchen and asks  the 6 year old

what he wants for breakfast,  he replies, 'Aw, hell,  Mom, I guess

I'll have some Cheerios.'

 

WHACK! He flies out of his  chair, tumbles across the  kitchen  floor,

gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in  hot

pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His mom locks him in his

room and shouts, 'You can stay there until I let you out!'

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a

stern voice, 'And what do YOU want for breakfast,  young man?'

I don't know, he blubbers, 'but you can bet your fat ass it won't be Cheerios!'

Ammy ~ It was so nice meeting you and your family. I really had a great time with you. It seems we have a lot in common and hope that we are able to chat more and see you at MOPS

Lets talk freaking here for a sec….. Today I had my dentist appointment – and to fill you in, I am a HUGE chicken. So much a chicken that I had to find a dentist that would put me out for general dental work. When I say put me out, I mean they drug me up and I go to la-la land and don’t feel a thing and don’t remember a thing – GENERALLY speaking. I do have bits and pieces that I remember and will share in a few. But here is my freaky story.

So today I am in the chair and got that stinken mask on that make me feel like an elephant. This would be the “laughing gas” to help me relax. Help me relax ON TOP of this NASTY medication to also aid in my relaxtion. I think they call it “laughing gas” because its the dentist and his assistants that are laughing at you because you look like a complete idoit with it on your face and if you are like me you talk out loud! ok but back to me story..

So i am relaxing and thinking to myself to not think because I tend to say what I am thinking OUT LOUD when I am drugged up. So I doze off – which was great because I was already tired, I was looking forward to the sleep and more sleep when I got home.

So there I was in La-la land and all of a sudden I am back in a different room in the year – I am going to guess 2002.

Ok let me back up *** REWIND ***
Back in 2002 just after Matty was born I had this horrible tooth ache. Chicken out at the dentist office and ended walking out. I was jacked up on Vicadin to help with nerves and OBVISOUSLY did not work. So I went home and called an Oral surgeon to see if they would jsut pull the mother! They gladly put my on the calendar and I was there just a few days later. I had such horrible pain that it litterally felt like someone was taking a sledge hammer to my tooth. It was not a fun experience at all. I was sitting there nicely and they started to give me that “laughing gas” and told me to just breath slowly and relax. So I did… BIG MISTAKE. There I go off to la-la land. I flet it slowly creeping up my legs and then my stomach and finally to my face and off to sleep i went. Oh it was nice. Just sleeping away. Then I started dreaming. I dreamt that I was in this room and it started spinning. Around and around. And i was watching it go around and around. I ended up sitting up and then all of a sudden there was this lady with no face trying to talk to me.She kept saying my name over and over again. Finally I couldnt take her not having a face anymore so I reached up and grabbed it… I realized that it was a mask on her face. THEN I realized… YOUR IDIOT you were not dreaming.. it was all real. The room was spinning, this lady was talking to me and I GRABBED her mask off. I was compleltly horrified that I did that and then i started crying. Obivsously I react WAY to well to the gas. Lets just that the dentist came in quickly after that to give me an IV to REALLY go to sleep.

ok so back on track with story…
So i drifted off to sleep and wake up… guess where.. in that same room in that same year, with that same nurse – everything repeated again. I started crying and thinking to myself, Everything that I have experienced for the past 6 years, was all a dream. I do not have my wonderful husband or Christopher and all the other wonderful things I had. It was all a dream. I was so upset that all these nice things that I have and experienced, is no more. I was in the same relationship, in the same cold city, with the same problems. I thought to myself, if I just go back to sleep I can continue to live my “dream”. And so I did. I prayed as I was falling back to sleep that I would never wake up again. I like my dream life. I like my “dream” kids, “dream” job, “dream” house- EVERYTHING.

Evenutally I did wake up “normal” in this same life in 2008 with all the people I love and care for. But that was so scary to have that feeling of your life that you thought you had, to be gone. As I was sitting there waiting for Charley to show up, it serioulsy felt like forever. And it was so wonderful to see his face walk thru that door.

On the way home, the happenings of that is just funny. Like I said I remember bits and pieces of things but it all seems like a dream of those things. Charley wanted to me see this truck on the way home and what I remember…. he wanted me to get out and walk and I had like NO balance so he drove up as close to the car as he could and then all I remember is looking at the seats. And the handle. LOL it is just so freaky! I wish i could explain it better. Its like flashes of pictures just going thru your head. WEIRD. And SOMEHOW on the way home I managed to eat Mcdonalds without chocking or biting myself

So I guess the moral of this story is….. “laughing gas” is no laughing matter. That stuff MESSES me up!
and of course, embrace the life God has given you. I am SO greatful to have my family. I love them for who they are – even when they aren’t the best at that moment. I love my life. Even when times are so hard and so challenging, I LOVE MY LIFE!!!! Thank you Lord for all that I have and all that you have given me. (AND please don’t send me back there!!)

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