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The Middle Wife

I received this email joke today and with 2 older kids of my own that just say the darnest things.. I wanted to share with you all!!

The “Middle Wife” by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids
myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second
grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few
sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually,
show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes,
pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any
boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school
and talk about it, they’re welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing
kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a
pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. “This is Luke, my baby brother,
and I’m going to tell you about his birthday.”

“First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad
put a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine
months through an umbrella cord.”

She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not
to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching
her in amazement.

“Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, ‘Oh,
Oh, Oh, Oh!’ Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. “She walked
around the house for, like an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!’ (Now this kid is
doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

“My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t
have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my Mom to lie
down in bed like this.” (Then Erica lies down with her back against the
wall.)

“And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in
case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed,
like psshhheew!” (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands
miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

“Then the middle wife starts saying ‘push, push,’ and ‘breathe,
breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a
sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they
all said it was from Mom’s play-center, so there must be a lot of toys
inside there.”

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her
seat. I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it’s
show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another “Middle Wife”
comes along.

What has your kid said that was too funny??

I’ll share mine then you share yours.

When Lil was in Kindergarten they had the open house deal so the parents can see what the kids have been doing. It was a big deal for us! Her first year in school and to see all the wonderful projects she had done. Even see where she sits at.
They had a classroom pet named Spike. She eagerly took us over to see it and with such excitement she blurted out, “HEY mom, look! Its our Gummie Pig!! His name is Spike” I just about rolled over and thought it was the cutest thing ever!!! I will never forget that!!

Ok now your turn. Share your cutest stories.. If your lil one is not old enough to talk, then share your own funny saying!

Now I get to share a few of my lil guy. How cute is he??? SUPER CUTE:)

OK So… I heard that some of my pictures had turned into squares.. HMMM that is annoying. So let me try that again and re-post lil Miss Lil in her modeling attitude.

OK and I cant figure out how to line up my pictures so they dont look scattered.. so I apologize

MOre pictures to come shortly